Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

President Trump Blames Bomb Cyclone On Muslim Ban Court Delays

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump acknowledged the deadly winter storms...

Hillary Clinton Will Read The Audiobook Version Of “Fire and Fury”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Alinsky Talent Agency announced this morning...

Sessions ‘Greatly Troubled’ About Legal Recreational Weed And His Ability To Incarcerate Young Black Men

WASHINGTON,  D.C. -- This morning, word broke that U.S. Attorney General...

AUDIO: Podcasting Birther Says Mueller Russia Probe Is “All Made Up Lies”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing blogger and Internet comments section...

Trump Orders White House Crew to Downsize Big Red Button For His Fingers

Engineers are busy in the White House downsizing the big red button that presidents use to launch nuclear strikes to something for suited to Trump.

Flustered Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1817” On All His Checks And Social Policy Initiatives

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence is like any other...

Typing “Go Fuck Yourself” On Facebook Now Unleashes A Stream Of Cute Little Animated Dildos

SILICON VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Social media giant Facebook is constantly trying...