Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Tucker Carlson: Dark Meat ‘Doesn’t Belong’ Next to White Meat on His Dinner Plate

When Fox News host Tucker Carlson sits down to eat Thanksgiving...

Republican State Rep. Wants to ‘Defend Christmas’ by Outlawing ‘All Pagan Rituals and Holidays’

CORNHOLE, TEXAS -- State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R-TX) filed paperwork in...

Who’s Most Innocent: OJ Simpson, Bill Cosby, George Zimmerman, or Kyle Rittenhouse?

Now that his trial has been concluded, and he has been...

Kyle Rittenhouse and George Zimmerman Will Headline “Bushmaster/Skittles White Hood Comedy Tour”

Recently acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse will join fellow acquitted murderer George...

Stephen Miller Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott ‘Reverse Racist’ Black Friday

This week, millions of Americans will celebrate Thanksgiving. Some will embrace...

Judge Schroeder Invites Rittenhouse Over for Thanksgiving Dinner

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- This morning, Alternative Facts reported that Wendy Rittenhouse, mother of...

Rittenhouse’s Mother Unsure Whether to Seat Him at Kids’ Table or Murderer’s Table

ORENTHAL, ILLINOIS -- For the first time in over a year,...

Wisconsin Legalizes Murder While White

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Though it's not how laws are traditionally written...

Biologists Confirm: Ted Cruz is a Sentient Crotch Cyst

In an unforeseen turn of events, sources say that top Republican...

4 Highlights of Kevin McCarthy’s 8+ Hour Speech Against “Build Back Better”

Last night, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) mustered all the...