Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Report: Trump Tried to Flush Ivanka and Jared’s Wedding License Down White House Toilet

New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has a new book out that...

Gazpacho Police Announce Massive Counterfeit Oyster Cracker Bust

https://youtu.be/hqWJDFRyc2w WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Nancy Pelosi's personal law enforcement squad, the Gazpacho...

Marjorie Greene Has Spent So Much in Mask Fines, She Wishes Biden Was Giving Away Crack Pipes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how much explaining the Biden White...

CDC Says It’s Now Safe to Remove Your Mask In Order Tell Ted Cruz to Fuck Himself

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control has issued the...

Free Speech Defender Wants Teachers Arrested For Talking About Racism or Gay People In Florida

TALAHASSE, FLORIDUH -- You would be hard-pressed to find a politician...

Maybe If Real Women Would Talk to Me, I Wouldn’t Get So Worked Up Over Cartoon Ones

The following editorial was submitted to Alternative Facts by William Terwilliger Jones, a...

National Archives: Trump May Have Illegally Taken Presidential Happy Meal Toys to Mar-A-Lago

The Presidential Records Act was signed into law by President Jimmy...

New Fashion Trend: Wearing Your IQ on Your Hat

There's a hot new fashion trend these days, and we just...

Rumble Offers Joe Rogan $100 Million to Wear a MAGA Hat and Just Shout the N-Word

A YouTube competitor has offered podcaster Joe Rogan $100 million to...