Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Barack Obama Explains Why No Congressional Investigation Found Evidence He Tried a Coup

Shocking almost no one on Planet Not a Fuckwit, the January...

Ukraine Government Designates Dead Russian Soldiers as Gender Neutral Public Bathrooms

While Ukraine is under siege from an illegal occupying Russian military,...

Sanctions Force Putin to Cancel Trump Family’s Quarterly Bonuses

When Russian President Vladimir Putin invaded Ukraine last week, it's difficult...

Trump Plans to Be Sitting on His Fat Ass While Brandon Delivers State of the Union Address

While President Brandon is delivering the very first State of the...

Greene Hopeful Her Voice Won’t Be Hoarse or Horsey During State of the Union Response

Tonight, President Joe Biden will deliver his first State of the...

God Tells Pat Robertson to “Suit Up and Fight for Putin If He Wants the End Times So Badly”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past weekend, fossilized human and...

Glenn Greenwald Still Not Sure Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine Counts as Russia Invading Ukraine

https://youtu.be/N5hhVTPzbKo While the Biden administration was trying its best to warn America,...

New Biden Sanctions Cut Off Putin’s Supply of Republican Blowjobs

Within hours of Russia launching its full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the...