Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

San Diego Man Will Fucking Fight You If You Say Your Town Has Better Tacos Than His

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old San Diego native Lance...

Dick’s Will No Longer Sell Replacement Dicks

CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that...

Dana Loesch: ‘Children Should Be Shot At, But Not Heard’

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This morning, NRA spokesterrorist Dana Loesch gave an...

President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out Screaming 10 Minutes Later

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several...

Dana Loesch Not Sure She Wants To Be The NRA’s Spokesterrorist Anymore

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Many Americans might have gotten the sense in...

Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun Of His Own

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting...

Gun Rights Activist Will Only Fly Across Country On His AR-15 After Airlines Drop NRA Partnerships

SPRINGFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA -- In his home town, there is perhaps...

Chefs Prepare For Traditional Deep Frying Of Olympic Rings To Close Out 2018 Games

PEYONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA -- The 2018 Winter Olympics have just about...