Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Town Douche Wonders Why There’s ‘Only 364’ International Men’s Days Each Year

CAPE FALLS, OHIO -- Today is International Women's Day, but for...

A Complete List Of Every President Sued By A Porn Star

This week, adult film star Stormy Daniels, whose real name is...

Trump Says He’s Having A Hard Time Hearing Paul Ryan Criticize Steel Tariffs With Mouth Full

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today President Trump told reporters that he hasn't...

Awkard! Donald In Hot Water After He Calls Ivanka “Stormy” At The Worst Time Possible!

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the White House was witness to...

Report: Melania Trump Entered Country On “Bride of Frankenstein” Visa

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Because of his administration's focus on immigration, President...

Sam Nunberg Intercepts And Snorts More Mysterious White Powder Sent to Don Jr.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- After a bizarre, freewheeling string of...

Red State School Hires Heavily Armed Vietnam Vet And Drifter To Teach U.S. History

HOPE, WASHINGTON -- A small Washington town has taken the issue...

David Avocado Wolfe In Critical Condition After Apparent Accidental Crystal Chakra Voodoo Overdose

AURA CITY, WOOSCONSIN -- Local authorities and doctors are confirming at...

Trump Says He’ll Enact Russian Sanctions As Soon As The Kremlin Gives Him Permission

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In July of 2017 the United States Congress...

Tomi Lahren Watched Trump’s Access Hollywood Tape Instead Of The ‘Godless Sexual Deviants’ On The Oscars

VAPID TWUNT, TEXAS -- This morning, right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox...