Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Lists Three Branches Of Government: “National, Rifle, Association”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Inside the Oval Office today, President Donald Trump's...

Astronaut Worried He Doesn’t Have All The Wrong Stuff For Trump’s Space Force

CAPE JUSTICE, FLORIDA -- Astronaut Commander Michael Deckster has been one...

5 Scientific Reasons Stephen Hawking Was Hung Like A Horse

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); Stephen Hawking is dead. The world is now...

Stephen Hawking’s Brain Still Operating At Higher Level Than Most Living Humans

JOLLY OLD ENGLANDSHIRE, UK -- Doctors in the United Kingdom announced...

New Study Reveals Inverse Relationship Between Penis Size And Times Word “Cuck” Is Used

One of the nation's leading scientific research organizations has concluded that...

Mueller Calls Rex Tillerson And Offers A ‘Sympathetic Ear And Accurate Stenographer’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has fired his Secretary of...

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Friends ‘Listened to Common Sense and Science,’ and Had Their Baby Vaccinated

SPRING FALLS, CALIFORNIA -- 46-year-old California resident Dennis Myers calls himself...