Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Ivanka Defends Daddy: “He’s Always Gotten My Consent First”

"I don't want fake news out there about Daddy."

American Farmer Coalition: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Uses So Much Fertilizer It Threatens Crops

The American Farmer Coalition has issued a dire forecast of the...

President Trump Wants Nuclear and Presidential Luggage Codes Be Changed to 1-2-3-4-5

Donald Trump wants simpler nuclear and luggage codes.

President Trump Claims He Has Fulfilled His Promise To “Drain The Swamp”

Trump clarifies how he intends to "drain the swamp."

Trump Supporter Wonders If Bangladesh Is Added To Muslim Ban List Will NYC Bombing Will Be Erased From Time

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and local moron Jethro...

Roy Moore Worried His Pedophilia Too Big A Distraction From His Racism

RED STICK, ALABAMA -- At a campaign stop in a small...

Angry Orangutan Who Kept Birther Movement Alive For 8 Years Tweets All Weekend About Fake News

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An orange-faced, alleged billionaire and angry orangutan lashed...

Confused Panic Strikes Roy Moore When He Comes Upon 14 Year Old Trans Girl In Bathroom

ALABAMA -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Judge...

Trump Asks Civil Rights Museum Tour Guide For His Long Form Birth Certificate

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI -- While touring the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum this...

Trump Assures Voters America Is Too Old For Roy Moore To “Mess Around With”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Back in the nation's capital after flying to...