Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Nothing Out Of The Ordinary Happens After California Man Smokes Legal Weed

RAIN CANYON, CALIFORNIA -- Authorities in California are confirming that over...

Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A Goddamned Fucking Shitheaded Cock-Faced Twat Waffle

Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits...

Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A G##damned F##king S###headed C##k-Faced Tw#twaffle

Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits...

Every Trump Hotel Closing For Business For One Day To Teach Employees How To Be Racist

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Trump Organization has announced that...

George W. Disappointed Barbara Bush Couldn’t Even Find Iraq’s WMDs In The Afterlife

THE AFTERLIFE -- Yesterday, former First Lady Barbara Bush passed away...

Barbara Bush Is Doing So Much Blow In The Afterlife Right Now

WAITING ROOM, THE AFTER LIFE -- Today, former First Lady Barbara...

Trump’s Attorney’s Attorneys Hire Attorneys To Represent Their Attorneys

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The network of lawyers working on...

Mueller Sends Copy Of Comey’s Book To White House And Asks Trump For Inscription

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within The White House say that when...

Mother Earth Claims Credit For Threats On Scott Pruitt

THE MILKY WAY GALAXY  -- Environmental Protection Agency administrator Scott Pruitt...