Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Experienced Brief Moment of Unexpected Sexual Arousal With Macron

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald Trump welcomed French President...

Jim Bridenstine Wants NASA To Install Weed Dispensary On International Space Station

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, along party lines, Rep. Jim Bridenstine (R-OK)...

5 Ways To Prove The Flat Earth Theory With Alternative Science

The Earth is flat. Whether or not Big Globe and Map...

Trump Supporter Wants More Libtarded Hollyweird Celebs To Give Opinions On Politics Like Kanye West

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and YouTube personality Jethro...

Sean Hannity Asks HUD For Another Set Of Multi-million Dollar Boot Straps

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- According to sources close-ish to the...

Man Doesn’t Deny He Dealt It, But Callously Refuses To Smellt It

RUSTY WIND FALLS, MINNESOTA -- Everyone in the room knew he...

Obama Slipped Divorce Attorney’s Business Card Into Melania’s Pocket At Barbara Bush’s Funeral

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, former First Lady Barbara Bush...

Gushers To Roll Out New Fruit Flavored Detergent Pods

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA -- General Mills, makers of the Gushers brand of...