Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Michelle Wolf Apologizes For Anyone Offended By Her “Locker Room Set” At White House Correspondents Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Comedian Michelle Wolf metaphorically lit the room on...

New Study: Mansplaining is Most Effective Contraceptive Available

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- A groundbreaking new scientific study has...

North Korea Sends Draft Peace Deal To Ambassador Dennis Rodman For Input

This morning the leaders of North and South Korea set the...

Trump Offers Bill Cosby Work Release Position in His Administration

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Disgraced pudding salesman Bill Cosby has been found...

Trump Says Michael Cohen Is His Lawyer Sometimes, But Was Never His Attorney

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump's former personal attorney -- a man...

The Alternative Facts of Trump’s First State Dinner (VIDEO)

While on the campaign trail, candidate Donald Trump said a lot...

To Thwart Package Thieves, Next Year Amazon Will Only Offer Shitty Products

There can be very little doubt left at this point that...

Betsy DeVos Wants Sixth Grade Science Textbooks Replaced With The New Testament

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Department of Education, under direction from Education...