Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Singapore Installing Advanced Anti-Fat Fascist Douchebag Defense Systems

SINGAPORE -- When he announced that his historic summit with North...

Betsy DeVos Wants Congressional Library Renamed “Lieberry Of Congress”

This story first ran on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Secretary...

Woman Spends Sixteen Hours A Day Switching Her Facebook Feed From “Top Stories” To “Most Recent”

CLEMMONS PASS, MISSOURI -- Though she doesn't consider herself someone who...

After Iran Deal, Trump Eyes Pulling Out Of Emancipation Proclamation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump followed through on one...

Adult Film Actress Says Obama Secretly Helped Her Use Exchange To Get Health Insurance

THE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- An adult film star has revealed that...

Hillary Clinton Offers To Testify Before Mueller For Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham...

Elon Musk Dedicated To Building Affordable Housing On Mars

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire entrepreneur and inventor Elon Musk...