Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Scientists Unable to Isolate Genetic Difference Between Corey Lewandowski and Bucket Of Luke Warm Diarrhea

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's leading scientists have been unsuccessful thus...

Historians Find Hitler’s Receipt From Post-Kristallnacht Brunch At Carnegie Deli

BERLIN, GERMANY -- Historians from the Institute of German History and...

Trump Bans FBI Agents’ Personal Opinions That Align With Pretty Much Most Of The Country

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Following testimony from the Inspector General and the...

Trump Wants His New Space Force’s Guns To Go “PEW PEW!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump reportedly surprised even his own...

Planned Parenthood Announces New Partnership With ICE

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Planned Parenthood has announced a new...

Ivanka Had The Most Classy And Elegant Boudoir Photos Taken For Father’s Day

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- Pretty Much First Lady Ivanka Trump reportedly had...

Trump Administration Wants Planned Parenthood To Help With Separating Illegal Immigrant Children From Mothers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the Donald Trump administration turned heads...