Totally Bulls*it News

I Tried the New McMoron Combo Meal. 0/10

By no means would I call myself a "gourmet." Maybe a "gourmand," but I'm not really even sure about that. Whatever the label you...

Scott Pruitt Looking For Dead Planet He Had Stuffed In Trump Hotel Mattress

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The scandal involving chief EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt's...

Eric Trump Worried He Won’t Get To Go Down Big Slide After McConnell Cancels August Recess

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A worried and anxious Eric Trump bounded into...

Betsy DeVos Unveils “Every Child Left Behind” Educational Reform Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos announced...

Historians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash

FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA -- In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington's...

Economists: Legal California Marijuana Will Make In ‘N’ Out Richer Than God By 2028

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Economists at the National Institute of...

Eagles Will Join Obama For Backyard BBQ

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA -- President Donald Trump has officially disinvited the Philadelphia...

Florida Teen Skirts Waiting Period and Performs Own Abortion With AR-15

LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, FLORIDA -- Back in April of this year, 28...

President Hillary Clinton Officially Pardons Herself For Benghazi, Emails, Secret Assassinations

BIZARRO WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, in the Alternate White House,...

Trump Asks Ivanka To Be ‘Fill-in Melanie’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump reached out his First Lady today...