Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

White House: Melania’s Jacket Was ‘Just Issuing Orders’

  WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the White House once again waded...

Couple Totally Not on Same Page About Which Content to Stream While Absent Mindedly Fucking

WINDY BEACH FALLS, VIRGINIA -- Skip and Jerry Lawson have been...

Melania Trump Announces New Fashion Line of Jackets With Phrases On Them

  WASHINGTON, D.C. -- First Lady Melania Trump ruffled feathers when she...

Scientists Unable to Isolate Genetic Difference Between Corey Lewandowski and Bucket Of Luke Warm Diarrhea

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's leading scientists have been unsuccessful thus...

Historians Find Hitler’s Receipt From Post-Kristallnacht Brunch At Carnegie Deli

BERLIN, GERMANY -- Historians from the Institute of German History and...

Trump Bans FBI Agents’ Personal Opinions That Align With Pretty Much Most Of The Country

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Following testimony from the Inspector General and the...

Planned Parenthood Announces New Partnership With ICE

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Planned Parenthood has announced a new...