Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Says Picking Kennedy’s Replacement Will Be Top Agenda Item In Summit With Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he will...

US Paralympics Team Refuses to Stand During Star Spangled Banner

COLORADO SRPINGS, CO -- A controversy erupted over the weekend when the...

Local Man Wondering If You Noticed His Oversized Truck

PENN VALLEY, CA -- Standing at just over 5 foot 6...

Klansmen Already Lined Up Around Supreme Court Building Wanting To Apply For Kennedy’s Seat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Within moments of Justice Anthony Kennedy announcing his...

Trump Declares Restaurants “No Free Speech Zones”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Americans dining out are no longer permitted to...

Trump Signs Executive Order Reversing President of Texas’ Immigration Policy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump took the unusual...

The Amazing Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Fails to Prevent Area Woman’s Existential Crisis

PENSACOLA, FL -- A creeping and gnawing feeling that something isn't right continued...

Billions of Cantaloupe Seeds Unexpectedly Sprouting in Nation’s Landfills

PALO ALTO, CA  -- Researchers from the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex...