Totally Bulls*it News

I Tried the New McMoron Combo Meal. 0/10

By no means would I call myself a "gourmet." Maybe a "gourmand," but I'm not really even sure about that. Whatever the label you...

EDITORIAL: Should I Be Madder At My Mom Or The Facebook Algorithm For Taking Three Weeks To Tell Me My Sister Died?

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following editorial written by Not Really.News' public commentator,...

Warren Agrees to DNA Test on Condition of Trump Spelling Test

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The heated, bitter war of words between Senator...

Penn State Inducts Rep. Jim Jordan Into Wrestling Hall of Fame

STATE COLLEGE, PENNSYLVANIA -- The Pennsylvania State University athletics department has...

Booted Obamacare Members Compensated with Ayn Rand Novels

Washington D.C. -- House Speaker Paul Ryan announced this morning that...

Report: Trump Supporters Penises are 2 Inches Smaller than Nationwide Average

Palo Alto, CA -- A year-long study by the Palo Alto,...

Trump Will Deliver Gettyscheeseburger Address At Site Of Bloodiest Second Civil War Battle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump will travel to the site of...

Department of Defense Releases First Day Casualty Count From Dems’ Second Civil War

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Department of Justice has issued its...

Trump Asks Putin If It’s Okay For Him To Celebrate American Independence Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This Independence Day morning, President Trump started his...

Trump Releases Updated List Of Potential Replacements for Justice Kennedy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump has been teasing the American public...

Citing Budget Deficit, Trump Enacts Tariff On Free Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order today...