Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Study Shows Mike Cernovich Thinks About Pedophilia More Than People Who Molest Kids

RIO CHINGADERO ESTUPIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Researchers at a community college in...

Vito Corelone Outraged His Lawyer Secretly Taped Their Meetings

STATEN ISLAND, NEW YORK -- When it was discovered that The...

Trump Family Makes Deal With Lawry’s For Exclusive New Table Salt

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today the White House released a joint press...

OJ Simpson Says 24 Years Ago Sascha Baron Cohen Dressed Up Like a Knife And Tricked Him Into Murdering Two People

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); Actor and comedian Sascha Baron Cohen is...

Government Archivists Discover Original, All-Caps Declaration of Independence

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Donald Trump sent a middle of...

Disney Partnering With Mike Cernovich Again On “Pizzagate” Biopic

LIBTARDED HOLLYWEIRDLAND, CALIFORNIA -- Disney announced this morning that it is...

Bob Mueller Walking White House Grounds Looking For Good Stakeout Point Ahead Of Putin Visit

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); WASHINGTON, D.C. --  Special Counsel Robert Mueller...

Putin Assures Trump Andrew Jackson Had Nothing to Do With Trail of Tears

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Trump took office, one of the...

Putin Can’t Believe It’s Really Going To Be THAT Easy Bugging Every Single Room In The White House

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- The Russian/American President just cannot believe his luck,...