Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Gleeful Giluliani Tells Reporters He’s Enjoying ‘Really 9/11-ing Up’ Trump’s Case

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This weekend Rudy Giuliani, the former...

President Says He’s ‘Never Even Heard Of’ Trump Tower

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a perhaps foreseen but surprising move nevertheless,...

David Dennison Issues Statement: Donald Trump Never Told Him About Don Jr’s Trump Tower Russian Rendezvous

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Alleged billionaire businessman and former Stormy Daniels and...

Trump: “Oh Do Excuse Me, I’ve Been Meaning To Say ‘Yes Collusion!'”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a sudden about-face from months of public...

POLL: Trump Approval 89% Among People Who Still Use Telegraphs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The subject of President Donald Trump's approval ratings...

Poll: Austin Clay, The Trump Hollywood Star Vandal, New 2020 Frontrunner

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- Austin Clay, 24 years old and a resident...

Study Shows Mike Cernovich Thinks About Pedophilia More Than People Who Molest Kids

RIO CHINGADERO ESTUPIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Researchers at a community college in...

Vito Corelone Outraged His Lawyer Secretly Taped Their Meetings

STATEN ISLAND, NEW YORK -- When it was discovered that The...