Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Recently Deceased Critic Mostly Unimpressed With Obituary His Family Wrote For Him

THE GREAT BEYOND -- When Sal Govatino died, he left behind...

Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorist Changes Name To “Low-IQAnon”

REMOTE, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION -- The mysterious online persona QAnon announced in...

Amazon Working On Rectal Recognition Software So You Always Know Who Dealt It

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos...

President Trump Furious He Can’t Get Into Ivanka’s Pants

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An irate President Trump lashed out violently this...

VP Mike Pence Will Push Congress For Law Stating Life Begins At “Pre-Cum”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This year, Vice President Mike Pence will make...

Trump’s Space Force Laser Guns Will Go “Pee! Pee!” Instead of “Pew! Pew!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has changed his mind, and...

Trump Rolls-Back Obama Era Endorsement of Oxygen

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that...

Parenting Study: Kids Will Probably Be A-Holes Regardless of What You Do

A new study published in the  North American Pediatric Psychology Review...