Totally Bulls*it News

She Told Her Boyfriend She’s Keeping Her Vote Secret Until He Finds Her Clit

Regular readers will recall that one of the things we pride ourselves on most here is our ability to secure interviews with the nation's...

Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious Freedom Space Task Force

CAPE CANVERAL, FLORIDA -- Lieutenant Commander Jesus Hubert Christ has officially checked...

Man Fucking A Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger Pretty Sure It Wasn’t Supposed To End Like This

LAKE SAUCISSE AU FROMAGE, WISCONSIN -- It wasn't supposed to go down...

Gleeful Giluliani Tells Reporters He’s Enjoying ‘Really 9/11-ing Up’ Trump’s Case

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This weekend Rudy Giuliani, the former...

President Says He’s ‘Never Even Heard Of’ Trump Tower

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a perhaps foreseen but surprising move nevertheless,...

David Dennison Issues Statement: Donald Trump Never Told Him About Don Jr’s Trump Tower Russian Rendezvous

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Alleged billionaire businessman and former Stormy Daniels and...

Trump: “Oh Do Excuse Me, I’ve Been Meaning To Say ‘Yes Collusion!'”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a sudden about-face from months of public...

POLL: Trump Approval 89% Among People Who Still Use Telegraphs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The subject of President Donald Trump's approval ratings...

Poll: Austin Clay, The Trump Hollywood Star Vandal, New 2020 Frontrunner

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA -- Austin Clay, 24 years old and a resident...