Totally Bulls*it News

She Told Her Boyfriend She’s Keeping Her Vote Secret Until He Finds Her Clit

Regular readers will recall that one of the things we pride ourselves on most here is our ability to secure interviews with the nation's...

Trump Admits He’s Just Jealous of the Size of Lebron James’ Bank Account

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last Friday, Donald Trump -- the most powerful...

Man’s Phallus Completely Deflates After Confusing Stomach Pump For Penis Pump

BENT ROD, OREGON -- It was not supposed to happen like...

Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying

SWILLY CORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a...

Lying Sack Of Shit Working For Obnoxious Asshole Who Spread Racist Rumor For a Decade Has Feelings Too, Apparently

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite being a combative, curt, condescending, tantrum throwing,...

Putin: “I’m Glad I Didn’t Have To Show Picture ID To Buy The Presidency”

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian and/or American President Vladimir Putin was overheard...

ISIS Sends Mike Pence Congratulations on His New ‘Religious Inquisition’ Task Force

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || ).push({}); SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- ISIS has issued...

Trump Asks Ivanka If She’s ‘Into Bigfoot or Hopefully Small Hand’ Erotica

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In Virginia, a man named Denver Riggleman is...