Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Breaking: Brett Kavanaugh Sure Could Use a Stiff One Or 50 Right About Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Following a brutal morning of testimony before the...

Grassley Warns Kavanaugh: “Another 60 or 70 Sexual Assault Allegations Might, Maybe, Could Make Us Wag Our Fingers At You”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA)...

Kavanaugh Issues Apology For Habitually, Repeatedly, Incessantly Missing Signals He Should Pull Out

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is under intense,...

Trump Demands Accusers Confirm If Kavanaugh’s Genitals Look Like Any Video Game Characters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump issued a formal presidential decree,...

Trump Wonders If Kavanaugh Accusers ‘Maybe Let’ Themselves Be Assaulted ‘For Totally Political Reasons’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, another bombshell allegation of sexual misconduct...

IBM Donating $5 Million to Holocaust Museum

Washington, D.C. -- International Business Machines (IBM) announced on Friday that...

OJ Simpson Furnishes Media With Letter Signed By 65 Women He Didn’t Murder

MATADOR, NEVADA -- Former NFL star OJ Simpson held a press...