Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Demands “Mark Facebook and Jack Tweeter” Stop Censoring Conservatives

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a meeting with business leaders this week,...

Man Tying Shoes Sends Tomi Lahren Into Rage-Induced Coma

DULLARD, TEXAS -- Representatives for right-wing firebrand conservative commentator Tabasco Lahren...

President’s Plane Renamed “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because...

Software Company Develops Real-Time App To Alert Viewers When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Lying

SWILLYCORN, VALLEY -- A software development company has released a new...

Man Falls Off Forest Hill Bridge After Accidentally Shooting Himself While on Heroin

Sacramento, CA -- A Mokelumne Hill man is in critical but...

Trump Regrets Lying About Lying About Telling Michael Cohen to Lie About Him Lying

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Donald Trump came down from the White...

Elon Musk Buys and Assimilates Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire tech guru and innovator Elon Musk...

DNC Wants Bernie Sanders to Take Blood Oath and Kiss Chair’s Ring Before Trying to Help the Party Win

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, several key outlets reported that Senator Bernie...