Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

IRS and God Confirm: Trump Is Equally as Christian and Billionaire

In a rather unforeseen twist, God and the Internal Revenue Service...

Trump Awards Tiger Woods Presidential Medal of Adultery

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump gave golf champion Tiger...

Jack Dorsey Says Twitter Will Hold Trump Accountable When Congress Does

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- There is no denying that President Donald...

Trump Gives Tiger Woods Presidential Medal of Adultery

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump gave golf champion Tiger...

Elon Musk Decides to Buy and Delete Twitter Instead

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last March, billionaire tech guru and entrepreneur...

President and Putin Both Agreed How Normally Sized and Shaped EVERYTHING On Trump’s Body Is

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, President Trump shocked utterly no one...

Trump: “Bob Mueller Shouldn’t Testify Because He’d Exonerate Me Way Too Much!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump lashed out on Twitter over the...