Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Doctors Marvel at Discovery of Vertebrate Republican

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, scientists and medical professionals were...

Alabama Rapist Can Finally Have The Family He Never Had

Sumiton, AL -- Unemployed handyman and rapist George Reed Wambles of...

Trump Reminds Amash of Their Oath to Uphold and Defend the Republican Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the weekend, Republican Congressman Rep. Justin Amash...

Alabama GOP Releases Pamphlet: 10 Things We’ll Still Let You Do With Your Vagina

FORT ENFANT MARIÉE, ALABAMA --  The Republican caucus within Alabama's state...

Missouri Orphan Waiting for Sugar Daddy to Knock Up and Adopt Her

ENCEST POINT, MISSOURI -- 15-year-old Kelly Meyers thought when she first...

Georgia Man Picks Out Burial Plot for Old Gym Sock

ENFANT MARIÉE PEAK, GEORGIA -- Skeeter McCoy was spotted at the...

Ohio Sets Up Tampon Cemetery for Grieving Almost Mothers

AHOLE RIVER COUNTY, OHIO -- The State of Ohio has contracted...

Alabama GOP Releases Pamphlet: 10 Things We’ll Still Let You Do With Your Vagina

FORT ENFANT MARIÉE, ALABAMA --  The Republican caucus within Alabama's state...