Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Elon Musk Decides to Buy and Delete Twitter Instead

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last March, billionaire tech guru and entrepreneur...

President and Putin Both Agreed How Normally Sized and Shaped EVERYTHING On Trump’s Body Is

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, President Trump shocked utterly no one...

Trump: “Bob Mueller Shouldn’t Testify Because He’d Exonerate Me Way Too Much!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump lashed out on Twitter over the...

Betsy DeVos Doesn’t Celebrate Cinco de Mayo Because She’s ‘More of a Miracle Whip Gal’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Several members of Donald Trump's presidential crime syndicate...

White House Caters Cinco de Mayo Luncheon with Taco Bell

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration continued its recent trend of...

Woman Tends To Cuss A Lot When You Act Like A G*dda**ed F***ing S**theaded C**k-Faced Tw*t-Waffle

Megan Hofer, 35 years old and from Santa Chingada, California, admits...

Trump Says Space Force Has Begun Work on Converting Moon into Death Star

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Having consolidated his power after the Battle of...

Trump Boasts He Was The Inspiration for the ‘Best’ Star Wars Character

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, throughout the country, fans are celebrating an...

Janitorial Staff Still Cleaning Up Slime Trail Left Behind By AG Barr

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, congressional janitorial staff...