Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Barack Obama Explains Why His Labor Secretary Didn’t Step Down Over Coddling a Rich Pedophile

A SECRET SOCIALIST SHARIA BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA -- Today, President...

Epstein and Acosta Spotted Filling Out Employment Apps at Chuck E. Cheese’s

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Eye witnesses have spotted former Labor Secretary Alexander...

Tomi Lahren Hard at Work on List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse

LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox...

White House Staff Were Terrified Trump Would Try to be President During Twitter Outage

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- At the time of publication, Twitter had just...

22 Year Old Trophy Wife Into Gray Pubes After All

DELAWARE, TEXAS -- Kate Singleton just married the man of her...

Rapinoe Will Visit Hillary Clinton’s House Instead of the White House

LYON, FRANCE -- Recently, a report from our sister publication, Satirical...

Trump Orders Facebook and Twitter to Require Users Like and Follow Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been no big secret around the nation's...

Fox News’ Lahren: “Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!”

LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Last week, our sister publication, Alternatively...

Man in Romantic Relationship With Wall Socket Shocked by Genital Pain

VALLE DE PENE QUEMADO, NEW MEXICO -- No matter how much...