Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Tennessee Gov. Signs Proclamation Celebrating Racism

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE -- Earlier this week, Tennessee governor Bill Lee (R)...

Confused Trump Asks First Lady Why FaceApp’s “Old Man” Filter Seems Broken

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the Oval Office this morning, there was...

Kellyanne Conway Confirms Her Ethnicity As Crypt Keeper

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A defiant Kellyanne Conway stridently and forcefully told...

Laura Ingraham Blasts Disney for Not Recasting Aladdin’s Genie White

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Frau Laura Braun...

Fuming Bezos Threatens Hostile Takeover of Offensive Crayons Over Amazon Day Buttplug Protest

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is reportedly "livid beyond...

Barack Obama Agrees That Donald Trump ‘Doesn’t Have a Racist Bone’ In His Body

A SECRET SOCIALIST KENYAN BUNKER SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA -- The battle...

Angry Pelosi Reminds Trump It’s Her Job to Diminish and Insult “The Squad” Publicly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry Nancy Pelosi lashed out at Donald...

Dinesh D’Souza Says Hurricane Barry’s Real Name is Barack

EL LAGO TIOTHOMAS, CALIFORNIA -- As officials work to clean up...