Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Baltimore Rat Feels Right at Home Visiting White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A rat from Baltimore has been in the...

Man Invents Device for Translating Farts and Donald Trump

EDISON FALLS, IDAHO -- Nicholas Tesler describes himself as an "amateur...

Rick Santorum Worried All the Focus on Mexicans Not Leaving Enough Hate for Gays

Rick Santorum doesn't want American conservatives to lose track of one of their non-Mexican boogeymen.

Lahren Bashes Highway Safety Laws While Putting on Her Seatbelt

CHINGADERA CANYON, CALIFORNIA -- In 2017, Fox News contributing racist Tammy...

Trump Supporter: America is Terrible and Kaepernick Should Honor America Because It’s Perfect

One conservative man's outrage over Colin Kaepernick not standing for the National Anthem.

Trump Jokingly Refers to Honest Abe’s Wife as “The Lincoln Tunnel”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump was forced to issue a hasty...

Trump Claims It Was Obama Who Farted on All The Brand New Couches in the White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In recent days, President Donald Trump has renewed...

Trump Hires Detective to Find Mitch McConnell’s Russian Birth Certificate and Destroy It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he has...