Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Pardons Booth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2018, former reality-TV star Donald Trump issuing...

President Promises TrumpCare Will Cover ‘Non-Existing Conditions’

WASHINGTON, D.C. --  Though it's still more than a year and...

Trump 2020 Campaign Will Use Flaming T’s to Help His Base Find Their Polling Station

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- The reelection campaign  headquarters for President Donald Trump...

John Bolton and Lindsey Graham Hold Hands As They Daydream About Invading Greenland

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Photographers in the nation's capital captured an intimate,...

President Runs Out of Dipping Sauce and Declares ‘National McNugget McMergency’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that...

NRA to Open Virginia “Gun Land” Amusement Park for Kids

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- The National Rifle Association announced plans this week...

Greenland Asks Trump How He Can Afford to Buy Them Without a Loan from His Dad or Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, our sister publication Alternative Facts, published a...