Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Ben Shapiro Just Really Wants to See Justice Kavanaugh’s Dick, Okay?

Dear Brett Kavanaugh, Ben Shapiro just wants to see your dick, okay?...

A Former President Just Endorsed Donald Trump’s Re-Election Bid

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA -- A former American president has endorsed Donald J....

President Threatens ‘Any American’ That Doesn’t Vote for Him With Class Action Lawsuit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump is going to sue...

Barack Obama Buys and Renames Netflix, Releases List of Its First Three New Shows

KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he...

Dick Cheney Reminds Trump Saudi Arabia Doesn’t Declare War, He Does

MUSTAFAR -- Former President Dick Cheney sent an email to President...

Self-Loathing, Blind, and Deaf Woman Explains Why She’s Still Voting for Donald Trump

GREENBELT, MINNESOTA -- Helen Whipplemyer is still voting for Donald J....

Donald Trump Stump Speech Breaks Out At Klan Rally

LAKE CHINGANDOS, FLORIDA -- At a recent Klan rally in Florida,...

Trump Offers to Make Palin Secretary of ‘Educationizing’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he was...

Starbucks Asks Customers Not To Open Carry Vape Pens in Stores

SEATTLE, WASHINGSTONED -- Coffee retailer Starbucks is joining a growing list...