Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Future Active Shooter Disappointed About His C- Manifesto Grade

Clovis, CA -- Future active shooter and area incel Garth Gall...

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Friends ‘Listened to Science,’ and Vaccinated Their Baby

SPRING FALLS, CALIFORNIA -- 46-year-old California resident Dennis Myers calls himself...

Trump: Only People Who Voted For Him Should Have First Amendment Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, less than a month after being...

White Guy Annoyed Black Community Won’t Listen To His Advice About Problems He Says They Don’t Have

PAS D'EMPATHIE, CONNECTICUT -- Matthew Palumbozo is 26, white, and extremely...

Porn Site Reveals “Daddy/Daughter” As Most Searched Term In Trump States

If you're a Trump supporter, chances are you like a familiar brand of porn...literally.

President Trump’s Itinerary Ruined as He Struggles for Hours to Thread a Needle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Alleged billionaire reality-TV star, failed steak salesman, and...

Trump Says His ‘Guys’ Will Find Ark of The Covenant and Holy Grail Within First 100 Days if Re-Elected

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has ordered that his...

Trump Misses Blaming Farts on Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While taking a stroll on the grounds of...

Local Woman Anxious For Hatred Among Fellow Americans To Return To Pre-Trump Levels

LAKE GILMOUR, FLORIDA -- Scholars and historians seem to agree, the...

The Klan Apologizes For Spelling Error In Pro-Trump Pamphlets

WHITE PLAINS, KANSAS -- A spokesman for the Ku Klux Klan...