Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Trump Offers to Make Palin Secretary of ‘Educationizing’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he was...

Starbucks Asks Customers Not To Open Carry Vape Pens in Stores

SEATTLE, WASHINGSTONED -- Coffee retailer Starbucks is joining a growing list...

DeVos Orders Schools to Run Active Vaper Drills

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All around the country, schools will begin to...

NRA Supports Universal Background Checks and Waiting Periods For Vaping Products

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- During a press conference this morning, a spokesterrorist...

Vape Company Giving Guns Away With Their Products to Avoid Regulation

A California company that produces vaporizing products for sale in the...

Irate Manager Demands to Speak to Store’s Karen

BEAR ROCK, CALIFORNIA -- An irate manager at a local retail...

Trump Says He Can’t Be Impeached Until Dems Impeach Individual-1 First

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the House Judiciary Committee approved and...

President Commemorates The Day His Skyscraper Became the Tallest Building in New York

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a solemn ceremony this morning, President Donald...

Trump Considering Sarah Palin as National Insecurity Adviser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Citing what he called "extremely fart-tudinous circumstantials," President...

President Pauses to Honor the Victims of 7/11

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump and Secondary First...