Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States is currently the subject of...

President Wants Pizza Delivery Driver Who Forgot His Cheese and Peppers Arrested for Treason

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most powerful alleged billionaire and white collar...

Idiot Uses Twitter to Whine and Rant Like a Big, Dumb Idiot All Weekend Long

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A big, dumb, stupid idiot took to his...

President Forbids White House Staff to Use Any “I-Words”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, a visibly agitated President Trump...

McConnell: “The President’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside...

Exclusive Investigation: Is the President a Complete Moron?

While the attention of most of the media outlets in America...

Ken Starr Sees a ‘Stunning Lack of Blowjobs’ In Impeachment Case Against Trump

WACO, TEXAS -- Though he's now the chancellor of Baylor University,...

Local Man Unsure Trump Should Get To Pick Supreme Court Justice During Impeachment Year

WIDOW'S PEAK, VIRGINIA -- Tom Stumbleworth voted for Donald Trump in...

Richard Nixon Sends His Articles of Impeachment to Nancy Pelosi ‘To Save Some Time’

THE LAKE OF FIRE, HELL, ETERNITY -- At a press conference...