Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before Impeaching Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that...

New York to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Perhaps to quiet a growing controversy,...

Total Moron Who Screeches About Socialism Asks Authoritarian Communists for Help

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A titanically stupid idiot, who happens to also...

Evangelical MAGA Supporter Sees No Issue With President Asking Satan For Dirt on Biden

HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Right-wing, Pro-Trump televangelist Bill Millen told listeners...

President Says Benedict Arnold’s Meetings With the British Were ‘Perfect’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not he ends up being impeached,...

President Suggested Strapping Border Crossers to Nukes and Dropping Them on Hurricanes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week it was reported by several outlets...

Obnoxious Liar Stands Next to President of Finland and Screams Conspiracy Theories at Reporters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An obnoxious, lying reality-TV conman and trust fund...