Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

President Asked If His Bone Spurs Could Assist Special Forces’ al-Baghdadi Operation ‘In Any Way’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before authorizing the military operation that ended in...

Giuliani’s Mouth Dials Trump’s Butt and Asks If It Needs a Kiss

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani made...

Gowdy: “How Can You Impeach Trump When He Wasn’t Even Involved in Benghazi?”

AMOR DU COUSIN, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Former Congressman Trey Gowdy is...

Trump Still Scouting Locations for Next Klanpaign Rally

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One could argue that President Donald J. Trump...

Barr Wants Justice Department to Investigate Justice Department for Crime of Investigating Crimes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, multiple outlets reported that President Donald...

Mexico Offers to Pay for 100% of Wall on Their Border With Colorado

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- In a development that might be beneficial...

Mark Zuckerberg Probably Won’t Mind Us Publishing That He Fucks Sheep on Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook, enjoys fucking sheep. At...

Hillary Clinton Circling Gaetz’ Congressional Office Shouting, “Lock Him Up!”

LAKE STUPEDASS, FLORIDA -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton...

Matt Gaetz Blows .18 on Breathalyzer After Barging Into Closed Door Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after he and several other Congressional Republicans...

Zuckerberg Assures Congress Facebook Sees Profitable Personal Data on Both Sides

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg gave testimony to the...