Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Barr Wants Justice Department to Investigate Justice Department for Crime of Investigating Crimes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, multiple outlets reported that President Donald...

Mexico Offers to Pay for 100% of Wall on Their Border With Colorado

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- In a development that might be beneficial...

Mark Zuckerberg Probably Won’t Mind Us Publishing That He Fucks Sheep on Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook, enjoys fucking sheep. At...

Hillary Clinton Circling Gaetz’ Congressional Office Shouting, “Lock Him Up!”

LAKE STUPEDASS, FLORIDA -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton...

Matt Gaetz Blows .18 on Breathalyzer After Barging Into Closed Door Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after he and several other Congressional Republicans...

Zuckerberg Assures Congress Facebook Sees Profitable Personal Data on Both Sides

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg gave testimony to the...

MAGA Boy Can’t Understand Why President Would Call Impeachment a ‘Good Thing Like Lynching’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster, YouTube producer, and singer/songwriter...

6 Reasons Congress Simply Cannot Impeach and Remove Donald Trump From Office

Most of the news in and around the Washington, D.C. area...

President David Dennison Mocks Mitt Romney for Having a Secret “Pierre Delecto” Twitter Account

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President David Dennison, relaxing in the Oval Office...

President Orders James Madison Arrested for Plotting Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has issued a direct order...