Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

New York City Real Estate Values Have Tripled Since Trump Announced He Left

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Last night on Twitter, the President...

Giant, Rotting, Racist Pumpkin Spotted on White House Steps

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Halloween is today, and the White House preparations...

Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Are Going to Scare White House Trick-or-Treaters as ‘Pointy-Headed Ghosts’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning the Trump administration announced that First...

Man Strikes First Blow in War on Christmas Putting Up His Lights on Halloween

CENTRAL VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Inspired by President Donald Trump's repeated rhetoric,...

Crypt Keeper Going As Kellyanne Conway For Halloween This Year

KASSIR FALLS, CALIFORNIA -- Each year, residents The Crypt Keeper's sleepy...

President Says California Fires Made Worse by ‘Windmills Making So Much Wind’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, who is also a noted...

President Says Constitution Signers Were ‘Never Trumpers’ Who Planned a Coup Against Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Just moments ago, President Donald J. Trump accused...

KKK’s Stormfront Added to Facebook News

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Facebook News debuted for...

Trump to Give Himself Purple Heart for Getting Ego Bruised by Impeachment Proceedings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a closed-door deposition today, Lt. Col. Alexander...