Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Tennessee Man Suing To Shut Down His Local Taco Bell Because It’s ‘Too Mexican’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- When right-wing podcaster, YouTube sensation, and...

This Cat ‘Pretty Sure’ He’d Be a Better President Than Donald Trump

NEW CATFORD, NEW YORK -- Mr. Whisker Bottoms is a Feline-American. He...

President Requires Dirt on Joe Biden Before Pardoning Any Turkeys

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For many years, a time honored tradition of...

5 Things Every Socialist Moocher Liberal Should Be Thankful Fo

The following is reprinted from a pamphlet being given by Congressional...

Audio Leaks of Richard Spencer Dictating Speech for President Trump

KNOTSY WOODS, VIRGINIA -- Leaked audio has emerged of devout white...

NYC Property Values Have Skyrocketed by 300% Since Trump Announced He Left City

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Last night on Twitter, the President...

Trump Orders the Execution of All Thanksgiving Turkeys Pardoned By Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The first thing President Donald Trump did this...

Turkey Passes On Presidential Pardon From Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for...