Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Lindsey Graham: “You Can’t Impeach Trump Until I Stop Blowing Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina may have,...

Restaurant Brands International Announces New “Retail Euthanasia” Venture

TORONTO, SOCIALIST HELL HOLE OF CANADA -- As Burger King takes...

Trump Demands Army Promote Him From Cadet To Major General Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Not long after completing his Veterans Day speech...

Trump Boys Wish Happy Veterans Day to ‘All The Doggy and Kitty Doctors in America’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- After watching their father deliver a...

President Trump: ‘I Like Honoring The Veterans Who Were Never Captured More’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Trump paced around the White...

Trump Will Only Pardon Turkey That Voted For Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump said that he...

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside...

Turkey Passes On Trump’s Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for...