Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Former Papa John’s CEO Did 40 Days’ Worth of Coke in 30

GRAS RACISTE EN SUEUR RIVER VALLEY, KENTUCKY -- John Schnatter, founder...

Analysis Shows More People Than IQ Points in the Arena During Last Trump Rally

Last night, President Donald J. Trump held another rally. As has...

You Whiny Snowflake Cuck Libtards Owe Me a Space Safe from “OK, Boomer”

The following is an opinionated editorial written by staff writer Bill...

God Says Trump is the ‘Chosen One to Warn Others Not to Become Slovenly, Racist Morons’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past August, in what would...

Can We Bait Notorious Pig Fucker Devin Nunes Into Suing Us Too?

The following was written by the editorial board of this publication....

Man Sees Jesus in 7-Eleven Holiday Cup

COPA MILAGRO, NEW MEXICO -- Grant Tabor is a lifelong resident...

Report: Nikki Haley Lives in Opposite Land Where Trump Tells the Truth and She’s Smart

MENTEUR SAC DE MERDER, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Sources close to situation...

Kellyanne Conway Plans to Move to South Dakota

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Senior Lie Advisor Kellyanne Conway told...

Trump: “As Soon As I Heard I Was Caught by the Whistleblower, I Wanted Nothing!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump stepped out onto the White...