Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Country’s Biggest Shit Wants Nationwide Toilet Probe

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The biggest, smelliest, and dumbest fecal-human hybrid in...

McConnell Promises to Hold Impeachment Trial in Moscow

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said today that...

Jordan, Gohmert, Collins Smugly Confident They’ve Convinced America to Impeach Hunter Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "We did it, guys. We really fuckin' did...

Matt Gaetz Blew a .28 on Breathalyzer Right Before Bringing Up Hunter Biden Driving Under the Influence

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the House Judiciary Committee debated the...

Sen. Lindsey Graham Told Judiciary Committee Exact Length He’ll Go To Defending President Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Senate Judiciary Committee held a hearing today...

White House Demands Democrats Add Pictures to Articles of Impeachment So Trump Understands Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House released a letter this morning,...

Pat Robertson Reminds Christians They’ll Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby Jesus

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning...