Totally Bulls*it News

Oh Cool, I’m Blogging About Politics Again. Can Anyone Remember Why?

A long time ago, in a country that feels a million miles away now, I started this stupid little website because as I was...

Bill Barr: “Non-Whites Who Don’t Own Land Voting Sets a Dangerous Precedent of Self-Governance”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr said in a radio...

White House: Articles of Impeachment Don’t Have Enough Pictures So Trump Can’t Understand Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House released a letter this morning,...

Coastal Elite Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Supports Trump’s Impeachment

PÂTURAGE DE LAIT COUNTY, WISCONSIN -- 56-year-old Carol Heffermère never considered...

“Why Nepotism Is Wrong Unless You Also Want to Bang That Child” by President Donald Trump

The following is an open letter to the American people written...

House Judiciary Republicans Give Trump Best “Defense” They Can During Impeachment Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee offered the...

Santa Claus Asks Gun Owners to Stow Weapons Before He Comes

NORTH POLE, EARTH -- Kristopher Q. Kringle, known around the world...

Ted Cruz Vigorously Defends Donald Trump on “Meet The Press” for No Reason in Particular

DOUCHEBAG RANCH, TEXAS -- Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), forcefully defended President...

Country’s Largest Turd Seeks Nationwide Toilet Investigation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The biggest, smelliest, and dumbest fecal-human hybrid in...

Man in Romantic Relationship With Wall Socket Shocked by Genital Pain

VALLE DE PENE QUEMADO, NEW MEXICO -- No matter how much...