Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

POLL: Most Americans Hope Sanders and Warren Fans Remember How God Awful Trump Is

A new poll released this morning shows that the overwhelming majority...

This 77 Year Old Tortoise Has F_ _ked the Working Class So Much It’s On The Brink of Extinction

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Down in Ecuador, a centenarian Galapagos tortoise named...

Facebook Hires Sarah Sanders, Sean Spicer, and Joseph Goebbels’ Reanimated Corpse to Vet Political Ads

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Facebook, facing enormous pressure from the...

NYC to Rename Public Toilet After Trump

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Officials in New York City have...

Adderall Sponsoring Trump’s State of the Union Address

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump has reportedly inked a deal...

Iran Says Chick-Fil-A, WalMart, and Slave Plantations Are American Targets of Cultural Value

U.S. President Donald J. Trump made headlines and raised a serious...

Dems May Ask SCOTUS to Weigh-In On Impeached Presidents Starting World Wars During Election Years

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A growing number of Congressional Democrats are reportedly...

Mexico Updates Trump On How Much They’ve Paid For His Wall So Far

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The government of Mexico reportedly sent the...