Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned...

Trump Whistleblower Hires Rand Paul’s Neighbor as Bodyguard

Today, Senator Rand Paul (R-Putin's Payroll) had a question for the...

During Impeachment Q&A Cruz Asks: “Isn’t Trump As Innocent As My Wife Is Ugly?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The question of whether or not to call...

Crate of New Pants Rushed to White House After Schumer Agrees to Call Hunter Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A crate full of brand new suit pants,...

Kushner, Ivanka, Donald Jr, and Eric Trump Condemn Bidens’ Nepotism

In a joint letter from some of President Donald J. Trump's...

Trump Orders Space Force to Investigate Allegations of Biden’s Neptune-ism

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's officially a branch of the U.S....