Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the...

Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that...

Murkowski and Alexander to Receive Presidential Medals of Cowardice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump will present two Republican...

Trump Being Fitted for New Crown After Senate Votes Against Impeachment Witnesses

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A D.C. area Burger King has been put...

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned...

Trump Whistleblower Hires Rand Paul’s Neighbor as Bodyguard

Today, Senator Rand Paul (R-Putin's Payroll) had a question for the...

During Impeachment Q&A Cruz Asks: “Isn’t Trump As Innocent As My Wife Is Ugly?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The question of whether or not to call...