Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Orders Brad Pitt Sent to Gitmo for ‘Treasonous’ Oscars Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has issued an official...

Stephen Miller’s Hair Says It Doesn’t See Anything Unnatural or Fake Looking About Trump’s Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Senior Fascism Adviser Stephen Miller's hair...

Devin Nunes Assures Trump He Won’t Stop Sucking Him Off Even Though Impeachment Trial Is Over

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources are reporting that late last night, Congressman...

Trump Frustrated With Iowa Caucuses Because He Doesn’t Know Who to Have Ukraine Investigate Next

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A clearly perturbed President Donald Trump told reporters...

Racist Old Man: “That Other Racist Old Man Isn’t Really That Racist”

A rich, racist old man on a cable news television show...

Trump Will Host Summer Kool-Aid Kountry Kookout for Supporters and Congressional Republicans

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A confident and clearly rejuvenated President Donald Trump...

Citing Trump’s Impeachment, Son of Sam Requests Retrial With No Witnesses or Documents

NEW YORK -- Attorneys for the convicted serial killer known as...