Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Pat Robertson: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning...

Pundits: Could The Guy With The Crazy Idea That ‘Rich People Are Doing Okay Enough’ Really Be Elected?

We asked three political pundits from three cable news networks to weigh-in on Bernie Sanders' chances.

Trump: Space Force Will Build Space Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a radio interview on WKKK-FM, Donald Trump...

Bloomberg Will Pay You $10,000 to Stop Thinking He’s Trying to Buy The Presidency

LOST WAGES, NEVADA -- At a campaign stop ahead of the...

Local Feline Entering Rehab After Catnip Fueled $4000 Amazon Shopping Spree

WHISKERS FLATS, IDAHO -- An eight year old house cat in...

Alabama Teen Sent to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Babies In Her Eye

COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in...

Bill Barr Is Totally Outraged (Wink, Wink) by Trump’s Inappropriate Tweets (Wink, Wink)

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr is, like, really very...

Tennessee Democrats Considering a 48-Hour Waiting Period for Erections

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE -- In 2015, conservatives in Deep Red Tennesee seriously...

Study Shows 85% of Monopoly Money Used to Snort Pixy Stix

A new study just published by the National Institute of Studying...