Totally Bulls*it News

She Told Her Boyfriend She’s Keeping Her Vote Secret Until He Finds Her Clit

Regular readers will recall that one of the things we pride ourselves on most here is our ability to secure interviews with the nation's...

Obama Endorses Trump’s Re-Election

SHARIA VOODOO LABORATORY, SOROS BUNKER #1 -- In a truly unforeseen...

USPS Announces “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding...

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the...

Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that...

Murkowski and Alexander to Receive Presidential Medals of Cowardice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump will present two Republican...

Trump Being Fitted for New Crown After Senate Votes Against Impeachment Witnesses

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A D.C. area Burger King has been put...

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned...

Trump Whistleblower Hires Rand Paul’s Neighbor as Bodyguard

Today, Senator Rand Paul (R-Putin's Payroll) had a question for the...