Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Local Man Not Sure He’ll Get a Return on All the Money He Invested in His Son

CARMEL VALLEY RANCH, CALIFORNIA -- He never expected to recoup every...

Quarantined Cruise Passenger Says Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak

ST. FRANK, CALIFORNIA -- When she boarded the Queen's Line cruise...

Woman Doesn’t Think Her Cat Cares That She Was Diagnosed With Coronavirus

FELIX HILLS, MINNESOTA -- A woman and her cat are currently...

David Avocado Wolfe and Gwyneth Paltrow Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though his administration is telling Americans that the...

Mark Meadows Named White House Grand Imperial Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Donald Trump announced that his loyal and...

Alex Jones Asks Why Trump Administration Hasn’t Used Anti-Coronavirus Chemtrails to Protect America

CABEZA MIERDA SPRINGS, TEXAS -- Far-right shock jock Alex Jones went...

After Browsing Five Streaming Services for 12 Hours, Couple’s Choices Narrowed to Three Shows

It started simply and innocently enough. Melissa asked her boyfriend Tim...