Totally Bulls*it News

She Told Her Boyfriend She’s Keeping Her Vote Secret Until He Finds Her Clit

Regular readers will recall that one of the things we pride ourselves on most here is our ability to secure interviews with the nation's...

Trump Demands Toyota Immediately Produce Vaccine for “Corollavirus”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has issued and official...

The Donald’s Campaign Unveils New MAGA Hoods

Have you seen the newest Trump hat?

Trump Supporters Demand Football Hall of Fame Remove Socialist Barry Sanders

The Pro Football Hall of Fame released a statement regarding a...

Trump Issues Executive Order for Dow Jones to Work Like Golf Scores

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the markets opened today, the Dow Jones...

President Acknowledges He Had to Buy His Sons’ Way Into Trump University

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last year, America was rocked by a scandal...

Spoiler Alert: You’re a Fucking Asshole

Hey, you! Yeah, you! I hope you're sitting down, and in...

Mike Pence Orders CDC to Quadruple Thought and Prayer Capacity to Combat Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his first official act in the capacity...

‘This country will never elect a socialist!’ – Woman Who Said No Black Man Would Ever Be President

GLEN SPRINGS, CONNECTICUT -- Susan Haroldson is a 64-year-old mother of...