Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Houston Astros in Talks to Sign Tom Brady

HOUSTON, TEXASS -- Major League Baseball's Houston Astros have reportedly reached...

Devin Nunes Accuses Hillary Clinton of Emailing Coronavirus to World and Then Deleting It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Devin Nunes stepped out from underneath the...

Trump Says President of Puerto Rico Was Wrong to Call Coronavirus a ‘Hoax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a somber President Donald Trump implored the...

CDC Wants Trump Supporters to Stop Sharing Hoods

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In what has been one of the busiest...

Trump Campaign Suspends Future Klan Rallies Out of Coronavirus Concerns

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's re-election campaign has announced it...

Local Woman Totally Judging What’s In Your Coronavirus Quarantine Preparation Shopping Cart

BECKY FALLS, MINNESOTA -- 43-year old Christina "Christy" Tomjanovich is judging...

Town Shocked When Man Does Not Tell Women What to Do With Their Vaginae

A man in a small town decides he has too much to do to worry about all the vaginae in the land, and declines to have an opinion on abortion.