Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jesus Sees Image of Potato Chip in Bathroom Mirror

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This weekend, Jesus Hubert Christ, son...

NRA President Says Obama Confiscated So Many Guns, Americans Were Left Defenseless Against Coronavirus

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- NRA CEO and Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told...

Netflix Announces Tiger King Follow-Up: “Even More Assholes Treating Each Other Like Shit”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Building off its tremendous popularity, Netflix has announced...

Man Wishes His Imaginary Friends Would Just Get Along With His Made-Up Wife

ILLUSORY FIELDS, KENTUCKY -- A local man has "had it up...

Local Couple: Sex Was Really Good Until Husband Got Involved

DISAPPOINTMENT GULCH, ARIZONA -- In an interview with Couples Weekly, Tabitha...

Jesus Christ: “Dude, What The Fuck’s Up With The MyPillow Guy?”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This week, Jesus Hubert Christ was...

Trump Blames Democrats for Impeaching Him Instead of Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump and his most vocal supporters...