Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Essential Worker Not Sure Non-Essential Workers Deserve Living Wage During Pandemic

LOS PARADOXICALES, CALIFORNIA -- On one of her recent lunch breaks...

Dr. Dumbfuck and Nurse Stupid-Ass Prescribe Hydroxychloroquine for Every American

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Dr. Moron T. Dumbfuck and his steady, faithful...

Summer’s Eve To End Donald Trump Signature Line Of Products

After Nordstrom's and other retailers drop their ties to his daughter, Summer's Eve has decided to cut its Donald Trump line.

Bernie Sanders to Send What’s Left of His Vocal Cords to Presidential Election Hall of Fame

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont will not be...

Trump Thanks Those Who Have Died from Coronavirus for Bumping Up His Briefings’ TV Ratings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump took to Twitter this morning...

Local MAGA-Boy Confused How He Got ‘The COVID’ After Taking Trump’s Snakeoil for Three Years

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-ing Youtube star, podcaster, singer/songwriter and...

Trump Says He’s ‘Heard Good Things’ About Treating Coronavirus With Blowtorches and Flamethrowers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump continued to give unlicensed medical...

Stupidfuck Training to Become Dumbfuck

MORON VALLEY, MINNESOTA -- Marcus Palumbozo is a stupidfuck. He has...