Totally Bulls*it News

I Tried the New McMoron Combo Meal. 0/10

By no means would I call myself a "gourmet." Maybe a "gourmand," but I'm not really even sure about that. Whatever the label you...

Trump Supporter Not Sure He Has Enough Bleach for Robes AND COVID-19 Vaccine

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins...

Trump Supporter’s Veins Feel Clean and COVID-Free Right Before He Dies

LAISOLE VALLEY, ARKANSAS -- Doctors attending to his final moments say...

NY and CA Offer to Buy Kentucky So They Can Stop Bailing It Out The Rest of the Time

This week, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow) seemed to put...

Trump Supporter Takes Knee During National Anthem to Protest Coronavirus Lockdown

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins has, by his estimation...

Local Stripper Practicing Giving Lap Dances from Six Feet Away

VALLE DE LAS CHICHIS, CALIFORNIA -- Candy Sparkles is not her...

Trump Suggests Using Windmill Cancer Treatments to Fight Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For several days, and even a few weeks,...

Report: Ow! Fuck! Pins and Needles!

GREEN PORT, LOUISIANA -- Sources close to the situation are reporting...

DNC Announces New Strategy: Encouraging Trump Supporters to Protest Coronavirus Lockdowns

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee announced today that it...

Fat Fuck Attention Whore: “Thousands of People Dying Don’t Hurt My Fabulous TV Ratings!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, America's most powerful elected twatwaffle held yet...