Totally Bulls*it News

I Tried the New McMoron Combo Meal. 0/10

By no means would I call myself a "gourmet." Maybe a "gourmand," but I'm not really even sure about that. Whatever the label you...

Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand's Overrated,...

Eric Trump Urges His Dad to Shut the Obamagate, Obamadoor, and Obamawindows

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the past couple of days, Americans have...

President Worries Never-Trumpers Are Dying of COVID-19 to Make Him ‘Look Bad’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the United States...

World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon...

Trump Promises to Attach Obamagate Evidence to Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is extremely concerned and hyper-focused...

Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they'd never seen...

Putin Gives Trump Permission to Rehire Michael Flynn

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Depending on whether the federal judge in his...

Nation Devastated to Learn Trump Officials Will Likely Recover from Coronavirus Infections

All across the United States, Americans are finding out that the...