Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Tucker Carlson Adds Two Ks to First Name

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is...

Trump Orders Dave Chappelle Arrested for Slaying Candace Owens

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters this morning that...

NASCAR Assures Fans They’ll See Confederate Flag Before Every Final Lap

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA -- Yesterday, NASCAR announced that it was banning...

Trump Orders Confederate Flags Lowered to Half-Staff to Honor MAGAs Lost to Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- His critics have started to take notice that...

Trump to Rename Military Bases After Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Protests over the killing of George Floyd, an...

Big Tech Censorship? Pictures of Trump’s Neck Getting Removed from Facebook

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Representatives from the two largest social...

Trump Supporter Won’t Wear Mask, Seatbelt, or Condom

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- If there is one thing that...

Basic White Woman Who’s Never Interacted With Cops Against Defunding Them

LAS ESTUPIDAS BLANCAS, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old cosmetics consultant Christiana...

Mexico Offers to Pay to Remove Trump’s White House Wall

DELAWARE -- The Joe Biden presidential campaign received a letter from...