Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Ivanka Had The Most Classy and Elegant Photos Taken For Father’s Day

WASHINGTON. D.C. -- Pretty Much First Lady Ivanka Trump reportedly had...

Tulsa MAGA Rally Goers to Take “Protective KKKool-Aid Shot” As They Enter Building

TULSA, OKLAHOMA -- As members of the American MAGAban enter the...

Eric Trump: “Face Masks Make American Bald Eagles Cry!”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Though America isn't usually known to...

Biden Offers to Let Obama Have First SCOTUS Pick as a “McConnell Mulligan”

Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and former Vice President Joe Biden has,...

Police Union Suggests Banning Camera Phones Would Eliminate Brutality and Excessive Force

LA VALLE DE PUERCA, CALIFORNIA -- The United National Fraternity of...

Skeletor Disappointed He Looks More Like Kellyanne Conway After Plastic Surgery

Editor's note: If you find yourself offended by this story, try...

Trump Says Bolton’s Book Contains Classified Lies and Top Secret Falsehoods

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether the White House officially admits it, President...

Trump Supporter Tired of Her Husband Klansplaining Everything to Her

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster Jethro Bohiggins and his...

Trump Asks If Anyone’s Thought to Cure Cancer By Not Screening for Cancer

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not really a secret that President Donald...

Trump Asks Ben Carson to Set Up Meeting With Aunt Jemima

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before "anyone makes any permanent decisions" on the...