Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Dan Bongino: “Parler is Social Media for People Tired of Hiding Behind Their Red Hats and White Hoods”

LAKE CRÂNE VIDE GÉANT, FLORIDA -- Right-wing commentator Dan Bongino announced...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked...

Hasbro Releasing “Trumpnopoly” Board Game Where Winning Players File Bankruptcy and Duck Income Tax

PAWTUCKET, RHODE ISLAND -- During a quarterly conference call with investors,...

CDC Testing Effectiveness of Racial Slurs on COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control, at the request...

Rand Paul to Filibuster Bubba Wallace’s Last Lap

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Rand Paul (R-The Kremlin) has announced that...

To End Abortion, President Trump Bans Pregnancy Tests

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of President Trump's most loyal bases of...

Trump Claims Support of the Silent But Deadly Majority

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It might be hard for Americans to believe,...

Antifa Millennials Topple Mrs. Butterworth Statue

LENIN, MISSISSIPPI -- A local AntiFa franchise, working under the direction...